Unreal

sometimes everything seems a bit unreal, a bit surrealistic. I go through the usual routines of my life, go to work, see some friends after that, or maybe go over to Seta for some thing or another, go see a movie, go have a beer. Sometimes it's like watching all this from outside, in my head I'm somewhere else. I'm watching myself having a life, not actually living it. Maybe it's a sign I should slow down so I could actually be in the moment.

And Tii, I am sooo bored at work.

Old letters and things I have forgot

I'm at my parents house and went browsing my old stuff, boxes and boxes of it. There were tons of old letters, pictures, paper clippings... I took some of the boxes to take home so I could go through them properly. Most of it I will burn (as soon as I find someone who has a fireplace) but some of it I will save. Like postcards from Tallinn from the year -96, signed by Jeffe, Laffe and Miffe, also known as the Trio Oralevato... Sorry, you just had to be there to understand that... It made me smile, big time.

It's fun to remember old jokes and stupid little nicknames people had (and is there someone who thought Hale is the name I was born with?) and trips we took and bright ideas we had while being away, or at home... I doubt I will find any love letters, on account never receiving many of those... Cold bitch that I am ;)

And I did check for old toys I could give to my godchild who will be born at the end of next month, if that little rascal isn't too keen and borns before due time. I doubt I will have children of my own and my brother, well, he'll have them eventually but there were plenty of our toys to go around so I think it's okay I took some. And I even found something for my dollhouse! A tiny wooden bucket, for sawed off legs and such...

Funniest thing I found was a little box filled with mementos from people I can' even remember! I have absolutely no memory of who the hell they were! But, apparently, I've had huge crushes on them. The girls I could remember but those boys... But still, atleast I've had people I've felt for. And that's good.

Little something that made me smile...

Q: What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?
A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog.

Happy

Sometimes there are pure moments of being completely happy. They do not last for long but it is sweet. When everything inside is calm and quiet. And at the same time it's million fireworks exploding in you at the same time.

I had one of those moments yesterday. Nothing hurts for a while.

Whatthehell?!?

So yesterday I was going over to a party with my friend, and we were walking somewhere around Myllypuro with my mate, trying to find the right street. We pass an empty building, clearly under some construction. There's a sound of the firealarm shrilling like crazy, coming from the house. No smoke or flames in sight, just the alarm. We stand there for a few minutes considering should we call it in or what, mainly the problem being that we have no idea what street it is. After some time we see someone and ask what street it is and I call to the emergency number.

"you have called to the emergency center, please hold on until we can answer your call, do not hang up"

Christallmighty! That is just plain wrong! You should not be put on hold when you call that number! Atleast they didn't have any music playing while waiting for someone to answer...

This time I was just calling to report that there might be a problem and that someone should check on it, if not for any other reason but because the sound of the alarm must be annoying to people living near. But what if there would have been something really dreadful, like someone being stabbed or something? Okay, I was on hold for 15 seconds, but still...

And to otherwise sum up my weekend, well, let's say that it was entertaining and sometimes I don't care if people laught at me and not with me ;) The main point being that people laugh and that is good. Atleast I laughed a lot this weekend. None of the jokes were good.

Weddings and so on

Friday one of the greatest friends I've ever had got married. I have no sisters but she is like that to me, someone I just wouldn't be able to cut off my life if I ever wanted to because you can't cut off family completely... And someone being family has nothing much to do with sharing genes or bloodline. Family is family.

Which brings me to the other thing that happened last weekend, my friend I've known almost fifteen years now had his firstborn son christened. Or being somewhat pagan they had a party where the name was revealed. Besides him his mother was the only person I had ever met before but I had a great time. Sometimes it's good to be somewhere else with people who don't know you. And it was great to see his mother, last time we saw was almost ten years ago.

All this didn't even make me sad like I expected. At the moment I am in that content phase, where I don't feel like I'm missing out on something by being alone. Next week or tomorrow things might be different. I don't care. Just now I am okay. That's good enough.

I'll choose evil