I’ve been under a lot of stress lately. Some things just weren’t how they were supposed to be and finding this out caused whole lot of other things to happen. Ignorance would have been bliss. It also would have meant a lot more other trouble later.
But this has meant that I’ve been really tired and busy these past few weeks. I should have slept more but I couldn’t because I couldn’t stop thinking. My hands have been itching like crazy, skin has started to flake away. It’s like ants crawling under my skin, I want to tear it open and let it all bleed out. Not that that would help.
Friday I was on my way to work, feeling completely exhausted. Also a bit relieved, we got some stuff sorted out Thursday and I felt like some of this all was out of my hands, that there was nothing more I could to, a little less to worry. I was listening to my ipod, humming along to Dixie Chicks, and suddenly I had to stop walking, lean into my knees and just let go. Tears were running down my cheeks, I was breathless, exhausted. This complete giving up just lasted for ten, fifteen seconds. But I felt better afterwards. I felt that I would be okay. All this would pass.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
12.10.2002
I wanted to say to a woman I was having an affair with that I loved her so much it hurt. The hurt was mostly the fact that I knew that the affair had no future, that it was doomed from the start. It was never meant to be an affair in the first place, just something that would happen once or twice but then it turned into months.
I wanted to fuck an ex of mine because he always felt so good and never made me hurt afterwards. But I didn’t call him. Later, I wished I had.
I wanted to find clothes that would protect me and make me feel strong as I would have to comfort my friend. I would have to be strong enough to take care of her while we watched her friends coffin at the altar. I would have to be strong enough not to give in to my grief over her completely. I wanted to feel secure and safe because I knew that we weren’t and never would be again, that this was the last straw. What I didn’t know was that the horrible thing that happened the night before, which just felt like something surreal and impossible, had taken away one more friend.
I wanted everything to be okay.
I wanted to fuck an ex of mine because he always felt so good and never made me hurt afterwards. But I didn’t call him. Later, I wished I had.
I wanted to find clothes that would protect me and make me feel strong as I would have to comfort my friend. I would have to be strong enough to take care of her while we watched her friends coffin at the altar. I would have to be strong enough not to give in to my grief over her completely. I wanted to feel secure and safe because I knew that we weren’t and never would be again, that this was the last straw. What I didn’t know was that the horrible thing that happened the night before, which just felt like something surreal and impossible, had taken away one more friend.
I wanted everything to be okay.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Dalai
He came to the world to amaze us two nights ago. It was a monday spent pacing around the office, achieving nothing at work, missing smoking so bad. I can't imagine what it was like for the mother, the one giving birth or the one waiting for her son to be born.
I met him yesterday for the first time. I wish I could explain the thoughts and feelings I had, and what went on during the hour and a half I had the pleasure of his company.
Joy.
Fear.
Jealousy.
A lump in my throat.
Shaky hands.
Sweat streaming down my back.
Softness.
Fragile hope.
But above all this,
Love.
I met him yesterday for the first time. I wish I could explain the thoughts and feelings I had, and what went on during the hour and a half I had the pleasure of his company.
Joy.
Fear.
Jealousy.
A lump in my throat.
Shaky hands.
Sweat streaming down my back.
Softness.
Fragile hope.
But above all this,
Love.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sanonpa vaan
Kukkamekko, polkkatukka, ylipainoa 20 kiloa ja todella paha akne.
Jos maailma olisi reilu se toimisi niin.
Jos maailma olisi reilu se toimisi niin.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Memories
The soft-hearted, broken Delirium, asks Morpheus at one point: “What’s the word for things not being the same always. You know. I’m sure there is one. Isn’t there?” Dream names the word for her. “Change,” he says. She also asks him: “What’s the name for the precise moment when you’ve actually forgotten how it felt to make love to somebody you really liked a long time ago?” Dream replies: “There isn’t one.” Says Delirium: “Oh. I thought maybe there was.” Delirium’s right, of course: there is one, and I think that in his heart, Dream knew it – but he wasn’t yet ready to speak it. That word is: “Mercy,” and it stands for an attribute that does not always fare well in the hard realities of waking life. It is only readily available, in fact, in that odd realm known as dreaming, and even there its blessings are epheremal.
Mikal Gilmore
Going through my old stuff (junk of years long gone) has reminded me of people I’ve forgotten, some of them quite a long time ago. That quote from the introduction to Neil Gaiman’s awesome book The Wake, touched me deeply. It is a mercy to forget those things. And, in some cases, it is painful to notice you’ve forgotten. That something that was once the most beautiful thing in the world can’t be recalled anymore. It doesn’t even matter how good everything is for you now, how much better or more or how happy you are with what you have. Moments that made you who you are have vanished from your memory. First real kiss with anyone, your last kiss with the beautiful boi, and all that came in between…
In dreams, sometimes, I remember, just to forget as I wake up. Mercy is a blessed thing.
Mikal Gilmore
Going through my old stuff (junk of years long gone) has reminded me of people I’ve forgotten, some of them quite a long time ago. That quote from the introduction to Neil Gaiman’s awesome book The Wake, touched me deeply. It is a mercy to forget those things. And, in some cases, it is painful to notice you’ve forgotten. That something that was once the most beautiful thing in the world can’t be recalled anymore. It doesn’t even matter how good everything is for you now, how much better or more or how happy you are with what you have. Moments that made you who you are have vanished from your memory. First real kiss with anyone, your last kiss with the beautiful boi, and all that came in between…
In dreams, sometimes, I remember, just to forget as I wake up. Mercy is a blessed thing.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
urgh
It is a really nasty feeling having strangers in your home. We are moving in together with my gf and obviously so my old flat is going to turn into someone else's home. That means I'm having a sort of open house going on for the next hour. Complete strangers come into my home and look at it and ask questions and generally are just, you know, in my space.
My friends now that I don't mind having guests over, even when I haven't cleaned (because then I'd never have anyone over). But that is so different. Now my home looks messy because all the boxes and other stuff that's just in where there happens to be place for it to be put down until I pack it away. I know these people come see the flat but still. It's my flat. With my crumbling walls. And cracked ceiling. And the dumb kitchen. Mine mine mine and don't you dare to judge it.
Half an hour to go...
My friends now that I don't mind having guests over, even when I haven't cleaned (because then I'd never have anyone over). But that is so different. Now my home looks messy because all the boxes and other stuff that's just in where there happens to be place for it to be put down until I pack it away. I know these people come see the flat but still. It's my flat. With my crumbling walls. And cracked ceiling. And the dumb kitchen. Mine mine mine and don't you dare to judge it.
Half an hour to go...
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Lovely bones, Alice Sebold
"When was it all right to let go not only the dead but of the living - to learn to accept?"
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
strange feelings
sometimes I feel completely out of place, it's the feeling of not fitting in. Of being the wrong kind, the wrong type. Strangely I haven't felt that in places I definetely should, like when I was at the bachelorparty held for my ex, and I was the only woman there.
I feel that I'm not fitting in at work lots of times. With my family, sometimes. Even on occasion around my friends. I am outside looking in, seeing, almost understanding but not quite. Almost wanting to belong but then, not quite being able.
Last time I had the feeling of not fitting in was yesterday. I was listening to Rage Against The Machine as I was walking into Toys 'R' Us.
I feel that I'm not fitting in at work lots of times. With my family, sometimes. Even on occasion around my friends. I am outside looking in, seeing, almost understanding but not quite. Almost wanting to belong but then, not quite being able.
Last time I had the feeling of not fitting in was yesterday. I was listening to Rage Against The Machine as I was walking into Toys 'R' Us.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Scary
so I saw a picture of my old friend from school. Could have said, based on that picture, that the woman in it is atleast 45. Oh man had she aged! That was scary. Made me think do I look that old too? Then it occurred to me that probably not, I haven't had two kids, I haven't doubled my bodyweight and I have a way better haircut. And wearing an apron didn't help her appearance much, either.
It is strange. How different people turn out to look when they grow up. I bet she still is the same nice girl I used to know, always quick to smile and fun to hang out with. It's just she turned out to look like one of those russian dolls, old plump ladys... And I turned out to look... well. A skinhead?
I also bumped into a childhood friend who I have't seen since 1992. She looked just like I had imagined her to look whenever I've thought of her these past years. And she had the rare ability to hug naturally. We saw eachother and immediately she wrapped her arms around me in delight. It was not akward or uncomfortable. Just easy and warm. It was good to see her. She is happy. That made me happy.
I also learned that my habit of reading a book holding it up close to my face, like I wouldn't be able to see properly is something I've done since I learned how to read. Don't know why I do it. I can see good enough to read from the normal distance. Maybe it just helps me to focus. Makes me look like a half-blind nerd but who cares?
It is strange. How different people turn out to look when they grow up. I bet she still is the same nice girl I used to know, always quick to smile and fun to hang out with. It's just she turned out to look like one of those russian dolls, old plump ladys... And I turned out to look... well. A skinhead?
I also bumped into a childhood friend who I have't seen since 1992. She looked just like I had imagined her to look whenever I've thought of her these past years. And she had the rare ability to hug naturally. We saw eachother and immediately she wrapped her arms around me in delight. It was not akward or uncomfortable. Just easy and warm. It was good to see her. She is happy. That made me happy.
I also learned that my habit of reading a book holding it up close to my face, like I wouldn't be able to see properly is something I've done since I learned how to read. Don't know why I do it. I can see good enough to read from the normal distance. Maybe it just helps me to focus. Makes me look like a half-blind nerd but who cares?
Thursday, March 22, 2007
It's been a long time...
Three things.
One. I chatted with an old friend today, it's been a while since we last had contact. It felt like no time had passed, even though we went through the usual stuff you do, is he still studying, and all that usual what you ask when you haven't heard anything lately. It was nice. That's the best way to describe it. Nice. Easy. Like it should be. And we did get a decent rant on about gayrights which was fun, in a way... As it turned out we are kind of brothers in arms, working for the same causes in different countries. I am so planning on an exchange program so we could meet up and talk and scheme and someone else would pay for it.
So those of you who thought I've vanished into the "married life" or become deeply depressed, here's me saying WRONG. I'm still here, alive and kicking, tired but not depressed.
Two. I went to see a band yesterday, and wow. It just dawned on me that I've seen that boy sing for over ten years. Since 1995, I think. Maybe even before that. I still like his music. I like watching him play the guitar. I like watching him on the stage. And I did enjoy seeing how he has matured, gotten older, how he has become an adult, not just some boy with a cool band and some cool songs but actually a man, comfortable enough with himself and his past to make a song about being seventeen and stupid.
Three. How come mtv only plays music non-stop during the daytime when there shouldn't be anyone watching because of work/school/etc?
One. I chatted with an old friend today, it's been a while since we last had contact. It felt like no time had passed, even though we went through the usual stuff you do, is he still studying, and all that usual what you ask when you haven't heard anything lately. It was nice. That's the best way to describe it. Nice. Easy. Like it should be. And we did get a decent rant on about gayrights which was fun, in a way... As it turned out we are kind of brothers in arms, working for the same causes in different countries. I am so planning on an exchange program so we could meet up and talk and scheme and someone else would pay for it.
So those of you who thought I've vanished into the "married life" or become deeply depressed, here's me saying WRONG. I'm still here, alive and kicking, tired but not depressed.
Two. I went to see a band yesterday, and wow. It just dawned on me that I've seen that boy sing for over ten years. Since 1995, I think. Maybe even before that. I still like his music. I like watching him play the guitar. I like watching him on the stage. And I did enjoy seeing how he has matured, gotten older, how he has become an adult, not just some boy with a cool band and some cool songs but actually a man, comfortable enough with himself and his past to make a song about being seventeen and stupid.
Three. How come mtv only plays music non-stop during the daytime when there shouldn't be anyone watching because of work/school/etc?
When you´ve seen it all
This is something I found in my drafts and I think it's about time to get it said.
Inspired by a friends blog I started to think why is it that when people say "I´ve seen it all "it usually means they´ve seen a lot of bad things..? And when we think someone has been through everything it means everything bad and sad and wrong like abuse, violence, tragedies in the family, loss of health etc.?
How come seeing it all doesn't mean good things also? Finding friends, getting a job you love, being happy with your partner or being happy to be alone, seeing a beautiful girl smile at you in a cafe in Paris... What ever good things might ever be. I'd rather go for that. That you haven't seen it all until you've seen happy things and beautiful things and things that make you laugh and things that make you smile and things that will comfort you when those bad things happen.
I know bad things happen to people. I know.
Inspired by a friends blog I started to think why is it that when people say "I´ve seen it all "it usually means they´ve seen a lot of bad things..? And when we think someone has been through everything it means everything bad and sad and wrong like abuse, violence, tragedies in the family, loss of health etc.?
How come seeing it all doesn't mean good things also? Finding friends, getting a job you love, being happy with your partner or being happy to be alone, seeing a beautiful girl smile at you in a cafe in Paris... What ever good things might ever be. I'd rather go for that. That you haven't seen it all until you've seen happy things and beautiful things and things that make you laugh and things that make you smile and things that will comfort you when those bad things happen.
I know bad things happen to people. I know.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Death
Lately death has been following me around. It all started a few weeks back when I had this sudden feeling of terror when I was going to bed. My gf was already sleeping, and I had been watching something from tv, some random comedyshow or something, nothing that should have raised these thoughts. I went to bed and suddenly felt terrible fear of death. And I started to think that okay, I'm now 29 so that means I have about this much time left and nonsense like that. All this lasted for about half an hour and I just couldn't shake the fear away.
The next day I felt a bit weird but work and all that normal stuff made me forget those thoughts. But since then everywhere I look there's death. I'm watching something from tv, like Friends, and what is the episode about? The death of mr Heckles. I'm reading a book and on page two someone dies. I open the paper and it's death here death there death everywhere. I know it's just a coincidence, that in the books and tv etc there aren't any more dead people than used to be. Now it just catches my attention.
Maybe the past year gave me so much to lose that for the first time I've started to feel fear of it.
But, on a lighter note:
The next day I felt a bit weird but work and all that normal stuff made me forget those thoughts. But since then everywhere I look there's death. I'm watching something from tv, like Friends, and what is the episode about? The death of mr Heckles. I'm reading a book and on page two someone dies. I open the paper and it's death here death there death everywhere. I know it's just a coincidence, that in the books and tv etc there aren't any more dead people than used to be. Now it just catches my attention.
Maybe the past year gave me so much to lose that for the first time I've started to feel fear of it.
But, on a lighter note:
 | My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Milady the Most Honourable Hale the Educated of Ofsted in the Bucket Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title |
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
What a great idea!
Sokeatkin pääsemässä metsästämään Texasissa
STT-IA, 13.12.2006
Myös sokeiden pitää päästä ammuskelemaan, tuumivat Texasin lainsäätäjät. Ampuma-aseita suosiva osavaltio valmistelee lainmuutosta, joka päästäisi sokeat metsästämään lasertähtäimillä.
Toinen vaihtoehto olisi se, että sokeiksi luokitellut ihmiset saisivat käyttää metsästysaseita, jotka osoittavat kohteen valolla.
- Tämä avaa metsästyksen huvit entistä useammille ihmisille. Aloite on mielestäni loistava, hihkuu lakialoitetta puoltava republikaaniedustaja Edmund Kuempel.
Texasin nykyiset lait kieltävät kaikilta lasertähtäimet. Myös kohteen valolla osoittavat aseet ovat kiellettyjä, sillä eläimet yleensä jähmettyvät paikalleen, jos ne joutuvat valokeilaan.
Käytännössä lainmuutos päästäisi metsästämään henkilöitä, jotka näkevät jonkin verran, mutta jotka on määritelty sokeiksi.
Oh my... Accidents are just waiting to happen, aren't they..?
STT-IA, 13.12.2006
Myös sokeiden pitää päästä ammuskelemaan, tuumivat Texasin lainsäätäjät. Ampuma-aseita suosiva osavaltio valmistelee lainmuutosta, joka päästäisi sokeat metsästämään lasertähtäimillä.
Toinen vaihtoehto olisi se, että sokeiksi luokitellut ihmiset saisivat käyttää metsästysaseita, jotka osoittavat kohteen valolla.
- Tämä avaa metsästyksen huvit entistä useammille ihmisille. Aloite on mielestäni loistava, hihkuu lakialoitetta puoltava republikaaniedustaja Edmund Kuempel.
Texasin nykyiset lait kieltävät kaikilta lasertähtäimet. Myös kohteen valolla osoittavat aseet ovat kiellettyjä, sillä eläimet yleensä jähmettyvät paikalleen, jos ne joutuvat valokeilaan.
Käytännössä lainmuutos päästäisi metsästämään henkilöitä, jotka näkevät jonkin verran, mutta jotka on määritelty sokeiksi.
Oh my... Accidents are just waiting to happen, aren't they..?
Friday, December 08, 2006
Once again stealing from someone else
It's my birthday today and besides a bit of a sore throat I'm in an excellent mood. I have nice things to look forward to after work, including going to see Zen Cafe at Tavastia. So the following quote has nothing to do with my current mood. I heard this song a few days ago and it reminded me of some things and feelings some of my friends are going through at the moment. And maybe a bit how I've felt at some point in my life too.
Luotettu ehkä liikaa siihen että aika korjaa
se minkä vuoksi nähtiin niin kovin paljon vaivaa
että hajalle saatiin
se mikä kauniiksi tarkoitettiin
Kipu kuolee huutamalla
alastomalla lattialla
Miten kauan sitä kestää
ei, sitä ei voi tietää
Kehen sattuu ja kuinka paljon
siitä kysymys enää tässä kai on
kun on saavuttu siihen pisteeseen
ettei mikään ole varmaa
Maailman pisimmät tunnit
niiden otteeseen jää kiinni
Niitä kantaa loppuun asti
vaikka itse ei aina huomaa
millainen on se taivas jota ei löydetty koskaan
Olen kuullut paljon siitä
osan jopa omasta suustani
voi niin pitkälle jaksaa kun itsellensä vakuuttaa
Joku meistä on onneton
palanut mutta tunnoton
katuva mutta uskoton
enemmän kuin rauhaton
Periaate on ehdoton
perustelu on aukoton
yhtälö ehkä mahdoton
miten niin muka armoton?
Koneeseen Kadonnut, Apulanta
Luotettu ehkä liikaa siihen että aika korjaa
se minkä vuoksi nähtiin niin kovin paljon vaivaa
että hajalle saatiin
se mikä kauniiksi tarkoitettiin
Kipu kuolee huutamalla
alastomalla lattialla
Miten kauan sitä kestää
ei, sitä ei voi tietää
Kehen sattuu ja kuinka paljon
siitä kysymys enää tässä kai on
kun on saavuttu siihen pisteeseen
ettei mikään ole varmaa
Maailman pisimmät tunnit
niiden otteeseen jää kiinni
Niitä kantaa loppuun asti
vaikka itse ei aina huomaa
millainen on se taivas jota ei löydetty koskaan
Olen kuullut paljon siitä
osan jopa omasta suustani
voi niin pitkälle jaksaa kun itsellensä vakuuttaa
Joku meistä on onneton
palanut mutta tunnoton
katuva mutta uskoton
enemmän kuin rauhaton
Periaate on ehdoton
perustelu on aukoton
yhtälö ehkä mahdoton
miten niin muka armoton?
Koneeseen Kadonnut, Apulanta
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Music can make you hurt yourself
I like cheesy music. You know, dramatic lyrics (usually they are actually very short, simple and repeat the same lines over and over again), that sad lovestory kind stories, preferably from the eighties. Best radiostation to listen to this kind of music is definetely Metro fm, they have nothing but that. I keep cracking up at work laughing because they play the funniest songs. These songs I haven’t heard in years. (and they still rock!) And they have this simple cool feature on their website where you can check out what’s playing and what’s coming next so I’ve actually found out few songs names/performers I’ve forgotten and been able to (ahem) “buy” them online now.
And because of that feature I practically fell off my chair laughing. There’s this song called The Promise. I really like it. It has all the necessary qualities. And it gets extra points for worst artist name. Poor guy.
Cock Robin Lyrics The Promise
...Tell me
You'll be there in my hour of need
You won't turn me away
Help me out of the life I lead
Remember the promise you made
Could I rely on your faith to be strong
To pick me back up and to push me along
Please tell me
You'll be there in my hour of need
You won't turn me away
Help me out of the life I lead
Remember the promise you made...
And because of that feature I practically fell off my chair laughing. There’s this song called The Promise. I really like it. It has all the necessary qualities. And it gets extra points for worst artist name. Poor guy.
Cock Robin Lyrics The Promise
...Tell me
You'll be there in my hour of need
You won't turn me away
Help me out of the life I lead
Remember the promise you made
Could I rely on your faith to be strong
To pick me back up and to push me along
Please tell me
You'll be there in my hour of need
You won't turn me away
Help me out of the life I lead
Remember the promise you made...
Monday, October 23, 2006
pikkusiskolle
En voi voittaa tuskaa.
En voi väistää elämää.
Yritän ajatella aikaa maisemana.
On kuljettava läpi
kun saapuu reunaan se loppuu.
Reunassa loistaa Valo.
Minun elämäni on matka kohti Taivaallista Valoa.
Elina Hirvonen
Että hän muistaisi saman
En voi väistää elämää.
Yritän ajatella aikaa maisemana.
On kuljettava läpi
kun saapuu reunaan se loppuu.
Reunassa loistaa Valo.
Minun elämäni on matka kohti Taivaallista Valoa.
Elina Hirvonen
Että hän muistaisi saman
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Friendship book Lazyboy-style
Do you consider yourself intelligent? (yes, except sometimes I am the Queen Supreme Of Dumb Ideas)
Are you ready to go all the way? (depends what’s at the end of the way)
Are you married? (no)
How do you rank yourself? (Queen Supreme)
Are you punctual? (most of the time)
When do you think you will have kids? (probably never)
Have you ever had a nervous breakdown? (not really)
Do you find yourself mentally stable? (mostly, just occasionally I’m a raving lunatic)
How do you deal with pressure? (best by avoiding it)
Do you find yourself qualified for life? (yes)
Don’t lie (just occasionally)
Don’t kill (haven’t done so, yet)
Don’t smoke (quit a long time ago)
Don’t run (would like to)
Don’t yell (rarely)
Don’t panic (very rarely)
Don’t steal (I don’t)
Don’t cry (sometimes I do)
Don’t die (do my best not to)
Don’t act (no, trust me on that)
Don’t drink (I do)
Don’t stumble (I do)
Don’t hate (I do)
Don’t bitch (I really do)
Don’t cheat (I don’t)
Remember to separate all your kitchen garbage (hmmm… yeah I know I should)
And turn the water off when you brush your teeth (sometimes I do)
Only buy organic food (hell might freeze over before that)
Get married (maybe someday)
Get loved (I am)
Get cleaver (aren’t I?)
Get big (hopefully not much bigger than this)
Get lucky (hell yeah I get)
Get rich (just bought a new lottery ticket)
Get good (I am)
Get free (ditto)
Get real (I try to remember that one)
Get food (as often as I can)
Get water (not enough)
Get sleep (really not enough)
Get sex (not going to kiss and tell)
(modified from the song Do you find yourself qualified by Lazyboy)
Are you ready to go all the way? (depends what’s at the end of the way)
Are you married? (no)
How do you rank yourself? (Queen Supreme)
Are you punctual? (most of the time)
When do you think you will have kids? (probably never)
Have you ever had a nervous breakdown? (not really)
Do you find yourself mentally stable? (mostly, just occasionally I’m a raving lunatic)
How do you deal with pressure? (best by avoiding it)
Do you find yourself qualified for life? (yes)
Don’t lie (just occasionally)
Don’t kill (haven’t done so, yet)
Don’t smoke (quit a long time ago)
Don’t run (would like to)
Don’t yell (rarely)
Don’t panic (very rarely)
Don’t steal (I don’t)
Don’t cry (sometimes I do)
Don’t die (do my best not to)
Don’t act (no, trust me on that)
Don’t drink (I do)
Don’t stumble (I do)
Don’t hate (I do)
Don’t bitch (I really do)
Don’t cheat (I don’t)
Remember to separate all your kitchen garbage (hmmm… yeah I know I should)
And turn the water off when you brush your teeth (sometimes I do)
Only buy organic food (hell might freeze over before that)
Get married (maybe someday)
Get loved (I am)
Get cleaver (aren’t I?)
Get big (hopefully not much bigger than this)
Get lucky (hell yeah I get)
Get rich (just bought a new lottery ticket)
Get good (I am)
Get free (ditto)
Get real (I try to remember that one)
Get food (as often as I can)
Get water (not enough)
Get sleep (really not enough)
Get sex (not going to kiss and tell)
(modified from the song Do you find yourself qualified by Lazyboy)
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
I hear voices
I finally caved in and joined a bit more to the nerd generation and got myself an iPod (nano 4 GB, for those who care about the details). Luckily I got it cheaply from my brother (the real nerd who just got a new better one). So now I can listen to music and stuff when I go to work and so on.
There’s only two minor things…
Besides music there’s Denis Learys stand-up comedy on my playlist. So I look like a complete tosser while waiting for the bus, quietly and occasionally not so quietly, laughing out loud by myself.
And if I get hit by a truck because I didn’t hear it coming and die you can blame Bullet With Butterfly Wings for that.
"…And what do I get, for my pain?
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game…
Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal
But can you fake it, for just one more show?
And what do you want?
I want to change
And what have you got, when you feel the same?"
There’s only two minor things…
Besides music there’s Denis Learys stand-up comedy on my playlist. So I look like a complete tosser while waiting for the bus, quietly and occasionally not so quietly, laughing out loud by myself.
And if I get hit by a truck because I didn’t hear it coming and die you can blame Bullet With Butterfly Wings for that.
"…And what do I get, for my pain?
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game…
Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal
But can you fake it, for just one more show?
And what do you want?
I want to change
And what have you got, when you feel the same?"
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
10 things I want to remember
1. The day he came home for the first time, his bewildered expression and looking like his skin was four times too big. Kurttu, we called him.
2. His innocent look when we found out that instead of just taking a nap under the sofa he was chewing it from the inside for his teething pains.
3. His floppy ears when he’s running down to the lakeside to go swim and to try to drink the lake away.
4. How amazingly brave he is, especially when he is securely being held in your arms, preferably inside, and barking to those beastly squirrels.
5. His love for sauna.
6. His love for food...
7. and for napping.
8. The way he goes to look for his puppy Lurppa whenever someone comes over, to show him off.
9. How he taught me to drive the car to the driveway very very quietly and to open the door without waking him up at four in the morning.
10. His joy when we open christmaspresents and he gets to open his own.
When it’s time it’s time. But not just yet, please?
2. His innocent look when we found out that instead of just taking a nap under the sofa he was chewing it from the inside for his teething pains.
3. His floppy ears when he’s running down to the lakeside to go swim and to try to drink the lake away.
4. How amazingly brave he is, especially when he is securely being held in your arms, preferably inside, and barking to those beastly squirrels.
5. His love for sauna.
6. His love for food...
7. and for napping.
8. The way he goes to look for his puppy Lurppa whenever someone comes over, to show him off.
9. How he taught me to drive the car to the driveway very very quietly and to open the door without waking him up at four in the morning.
10. His joy when we open christmaspresents and he gets to open his own.
When it’s time it’s time. But not just yet, please?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)