sooo... I was talking with a friend today about my trip to Tallinn in a few days and I told her I was going by myself. She said "oww". I really didn't think much of it before but then I started to wonder... I didn't ask anybody to come with me, I wanted to go by myself, I thought I could get some distance to some of the stuff going on here, I thought I could have a quiet few days. And then it occurred to me does it seem somehow sad that I'm going alone? One of those things you know that hell no, why in the world wouldn't you go by yourself, enjoy the time alone? And still, the small part of you that started to whisper "see, you have no one". (friends don't count at this point)
Lainatakseni toista ystävää, on ollut viime aikoina sinisiä fiiliksiä.
Fuck it, sometimes it's hard to deal with the not having "we" things, only "me" things. Sometimes I'm scared I'll stop missing altogether sharing things, sharing my life, that I truly only start missing just the physical stuff. That I can get. But that's not all I want to get.
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