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And in "I" we find...

Iggy Pop and the passenger. This one also brings back a whole sea of memories. My favourite bar when I started to really hang out in bars was a place called Torvi. (Painepesurikaan ei olisi puhdistanut niitä lattioita, korkeintaan bensa ja tulitikku perään...) It was a dreadful bar, a rock and roll bar, with a doorman who greeted me for the first time after about three years hanging there regularly. It was filled with wanna-be rockstars who never got their break (some did, though), darkhaired gothchicks and all the ones that didn't fit in. Once in a while a middle-aged man in a suit would wander in and look around bewildered before quickly backing out. Next door was a stripteasebar.

I had such a great time there. Countless evenings dancing to Iggy Pop and The Doors and Jimi and Janis and hardcore metal played so loud talking was definetely out of the question. I had a thing ("had"? I still do) for guitarplayers and that was the place to meet them, the bad boys, the stoners, the ones I could easily use. That's one thing people rarely get, they don't think women use men like men are thought to use women. I'm not saying that I never cared for any of those
men or I didn't get my heart broken a couple of times, I did. And I truly liked all of them. I didn't want them to call me later, I didn't want a relationship, I didn't want drama. So what did I end up with? Hell of a lot of memories of good times.

And funny incidents: one time I was chatting with my ex-boyfriend and his two mates and suddenly he says, "do you know we've all been with the same girl, including Hale?" The looks in their faces... Oh man... And the silence that followed... It was pretty well known that I'm queer as hell by that time but it wasn't clear to everyone, obviously... But the girl in question? Her I loved madly then. Still love her in a way. Probably always will.

Love's strange like that. Sometimes it doesn't go away even if you no longer have no idea where the one you loved is or any real desire to even know it. To me it's enough to know she's alive and out there somewhere, happy, hopefully.

Lopetetaan tämä lainauksella Jonna Tervomaalta: "mä tulin liian myöhään kai, tai aikaisin"